Eric Massa on the Glenn Beck Show.
BECK: First you told us you quit because of cancer…MASSA: I got an Xray here. See that spot on my lung…
BECK: It looks like a pen.
MASSA: Okay, maybe I had a pen in my pocket.
BECK: Then you said that there was a conspiracy by the corrupt Democratic Party to force you out because you were going to vote against health care.
MASSA: That was bull, Glenn. I forced myself out. I GROPED A GUY…Okay, maybe a few guys, and bunch of my male staffers are claiming sexual harassment.
BECK: Whaaat???!!!
MASSA: But, Glenn, this was just manly fun like I used to have in the Navy. Take a look at this picture in my Naval Academy yearbook:
.MASSA: Looks like a Caligula orgy gropefest, but I’m telling you it’s just good manly fun. Nothing sexual about it.
BECK: What about the conspiracy and corruption in the Democratic Party?
MASSA: Come on, Glenn. I made up a bunch of crap to try to save my job. I know you can relate.
WOW! For the past 30 years I could embed In the Navy by the Village People- 3,00,000 hits!…But, this week: AM (After Massa) I can only offer the url YouTube link.
Free speech on the net? Dream about it.
PHOTOSHOP FUN
All Hat No Cattle, BartCop, Internet Weekly Report, Pavlovianobeisance.com, ToppleBush
Cameron Stages Coup, Deposes Lucifer
PANDAEMONIUM (OMS) — Hell was wracked by chaos after film director James Cameron staged a bloodless coup and dethroned Lucifer Morningstar early this morning. Cameron, who has long been called “More Satany Than Satan” and “Chock Full O’ Evil” by those who worked for him, was here to shoot Blinded by the Light, Lucifer’s bestselling autobiography. Cameron has long been a fan of the Goat-Horned One and has called Light “the chance of a lifetime”. Many insiders believe that Cameron has longed to rule in Hell ever since he was spawned there millennia ago. Cameron has made no secret of his fondness for the Lake of Fire and in fact bought a vast estate in Dis, a city on the edge of the Inferno, two years ago after his divorce from actress Linda Hamilton. Hamilton had no comment other than to note that it was eerily reminiscent of their marriage. “Looks like Jim finally got what he wanted,” she said in a prepared statement.
Cameron had repeatedly clashed with the erstwhile Prince of Darkness during filming. Lucifer demanded rush review rights, only to be rebuffed by the dictatorial Cameron, whose motto is “My Way Or My Way”. Cameron has also butted heads with Morningstar over the number of succubi to be bound to Cameron’s will, as laid out in the agreement the two signed. Cameron’s leather-winged attorneys say that the contract allows Cameron to claim “a substantial number” of the sex demonesses, to which Agrat-bat-mahlaht, Hell’s Chief Succubus and Demon of Seduction, replied, “Well, yeah, but not all of us.”
Sources say that Cameron got the idea to oust Beelzebub after scouting locations in Hell and talking to the Powers and Principalities of the outlying infernal regions. By offering starring roles in upcoming films, Cameron managed to secure enough backing to depose the Fallen One. Cameron then announced his arrogation of power via conference call. He said that all contracts signed with Hellcorp would be honored.
Calling his ascension to the Skull Throne “the setting of the accurséd sun and the beginning of the Long Twilight,” Cameron declared that the old ways have to give way to the new. To that end, the Usurper has brought along a new set of tools with which to torture the walking world. Sources say that Freddie Prinze Jr. and the cast of Friends, along with Tara Reid and the Olsen Twins, have been given vast new powers of torment, far outstripping their old deals with Morningstar’s Hellcorp Films division. Cameron’s first official act as Adversary Novus was to replace the traditional punishment for the traitorous. That punishment-having one’s bones broken, the body contorted into an impossible position and encased in a lake of ice-is reserved for the most evil of humans, and was one of Lucifer’s favorites. Cameron has changed this punishment to include eternal reruns of Full House and Adam Sandler’s entire film catalog. However, Cameron said he was “a big fan” of the red-hot ovens currently in use to torment the wrathful, as well as the feces-spewing curse reserved for those who bear false witness. Contrary to rumour, Cameron said he has no plans to screen Titanic. “At least, not until Celine and Leo die,” he said with a chuckle.
Cameron, who has taken the name “Surtr” after the Norse fire demon, has appointed Dumah, Commander of the Demons of Gehenna, as Grand Infernal Interlocutor and Secretary of State. Dumah will be Cameron’s second-in-command and will rule in Cameron’s absence.
For his part, Lucifer is surprisingly unruffled at the sudden overthrow. He has already signed a multi-picture deal with Disney Films and has opened a new film studio, Mefilmstopheles, headquartered at the new Hollywood and Highland complex in Los Angeles. “I wish Cameron the best of luck and bear him no ill will,” the former Beautiful Angel said by phone from the swimming pool on the roof of his office building. “That boy’s got potential.”
Ken Tao- Loose Junk
Warning: Mature audiences with a sense of humor only.Reagan on a $50 bill? YES!…If you include his best friends.
Reagan to replace Grant on fifty dollar bill?.The Creation of OSAMA and Saddam.
.What a shame…RONALD REAGAN was a decent, naive bad-B-movie actor and America’s greatest snake-oil spokesman hired by the Great White Corporate Shark to inflict chaos in the Middle East, deregulate and bust unions. Ron allowed Kissinger and a recent head of the CIA (Bush, Sr) to make all the decisions. Perhaps it is best that Ronnie remembered nothing after 1988.
It would have broken his heart to see the blowback from his two best buds in the Middle East.
Unfortunately…I remember.
Reagan gave punk, nobody Osama bin Laden and his drug-pushing warlord peers $3,000,000,000
(of your tax dollars) to fight the Commies in Afghanistan and shamed Saudi Arabia into doing the same.
Ronnie opened up America’s arsenal (including WMDs like poison gas) to 3rd World punk Saddam Hussein because he was fighting the Great Satan in Iran. We now know (Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act) that Kissinger gave the same deal to Iran!?? THE BOTTOM LINE: Half of the M16 rifles, bullets and explosives for roadside bombs that are killing our kids in Iraq and Afghanistan were Reagan gifts.
BFF!ABOVE: Rumsfeld and Saddam.
Think about it…Without Reagan’s support we would never have heard the names Saddam or bin Laden. No Al-Qaeda…No Taliban…NO 9/11…No occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan and Iran (Coming Soon)!
More: THE HEALTH CRISIS TODAY: When Ronnie took office in 1981 one third of America’s work force belonged to unions with health insurance that covered their spouse, children and parents. Reagan’s script told him to begin a genocide. Today only 5% of union workers have full coverage.
THE WORST RECESSION SINCE THE GREAT DEPRESSION…Am I the only one who reads American history?
DEREGULATION: 2 of the Worst-Presidents ever from the 1920s said,
“Forget about the rules…Let Big Business do their thing.”…and greed sent the world into panic.
Reagan delivered the same message in 1981…which ended with Bush-the-Lesser in 2009.
Those who do not know history are doomed to relive it.
Everything that is wrong with America today began with Reagan.
Some want to put his image on a $50 dollar bill!!!????
Why not a five (to replace the 1st Republican President) because that is what your 1981 $50 is worth.
We will soon consider Reagan on a nickle.
Click here for my images and rants on Reagan
Jim Bunning…HOF pitcher, Hall of Shame senator
“Every man is a genius in some areas, a complete idiot in others.”: Mark Twain.
.Wild pitches from Sen. Bunning, Republicans Use Jim Bunning to Say Tough S**t to America.
When asked by Sen. Jeff Merkley of Oregon to stop his one man crusade against extending unemployment benefits, Sen. Bunning replied “tough shit.” When asked by ABC News to explain his position on unemployment insurance, he replied with the Cheney salute of a raised middle finger — but off camera. And of course, Sen. Bunning is delivering precisely that — a gigantic “f*ck you” to the same unemployed workers.
the ballad of jim bunning
please extend the courtesy of giving me the benefit of your doubtwhile i fuck up a whole lot of folks’ benefit extensions
i’m one angry aging white man
my own party’s asked me to vacate the saloon
before i go
i’m gonna yell down the house
fuck em all
i played my game
some i struck out
some i struck back at
kiss my ass
i don’t need your love
i’m my own bad man
i’m yelling at you about fiscal responsibility
don’t shout at me about i voted for a lot of not so fiscally responsible bills
that was then
this is now
fix your own piece of shit brokedown system
i’m virtually out of here
wanted to give all you folks something to remember me by
i got rivers to swim
mountains to cross
i’m an angry old white man
i’ll be coming your way soon
don’t ask me for any favors
i don’t give anything away
i’m just your angry old white man
and baby
it’s my day
and baby
you better fucking stay
out of my
way…
scott Facebook link
florence,oregon
Email your question to Greg- The Pop Culture Guru
Complete deck!
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Click here to view entire Sanctity of Marriage deck
Tom Tomorrow at This Modern World, Candorville, Conrad, Get Your War ON, Matt Wuerker, Mr.Fish, Horsey, Doonsbury, Non Sequitur, Tom Toles Oliphant, Luckovich, La Cucaracha, Lalo, What Now toons
Huckabee pardons psycho born-again killers, Lou Dobbs, The Vatican welcomes homophobic Anglicans into the fold, I Survived a Republican Town Hall!, Afghanistan…Empire Graveyard. A Voting Literacy Test for your Uncle Bubba, The Sanctity of Marriage, Christian Taliban and American Terrorists, Torture or Enhanced Sadism?, The New, Improved Hip Hop GOP, Recent American Occupation and Oil History As I Remember, Iran’s Bogus Election
PEOPLE
Those who should be thinned from the herd-
Sara Palin, Another Exciting Episode of the Wasilla Hillbillies, Bionic Christian Carrie Prejean, PsychoKiller Steven Green, Blogogate, Joe the Plumber, The Bush Legacy
Persons of Interest:
Carol Shepp and John McCain, GOP ST Ronald Reagan
Recent Constructive Anarchists
Ted Kennedy, Walter Cronkite, ShoeGate Muntadhir al-Zaidi
2008
The 2008 election, Xmas 2008
Below are my archives of stuff you may have missed
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Poster from If You’re Not a Terrorist…Then Stop Asking Questions by Micah Wright
“My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one’s country, not its institutions or its office holders.” — Mark Twain
“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” Dr Samuel Johnson
“Patriotism, the virtue of the vicious.” — Oscar Wilde
“A patriot must always defend his country against his government.” — Edward Abbey
“When the government fears the people, you have liberty. When the people fear the government, you have tyranny.” — Thomas Jefferson
Billionaires For Bush have a vision for a stronger America:
Billionocracy: Our Vision for the Future
For more info hit Ad Busters
3 of these CloneMasters songs played on the Dr Demento Show 25 years ago. No Toys is new!
This is our only chance to catch LANME until their summer tour. Hope to see you there.
Trust me…I am the Guru. Don’t miss this show.Tonight, February 22nd the Los Angeles New Music Ensemble will be performing a series of ground-breaking compositions that fuse together rock, post-minimalism, hip hop, and electronics at Club Spaceland in Silverlake CA (213)833-2843 starting around 8:30.
ON THE SAME BILL: Castledoor and Princeton!
Link to review of Princeton’s new CDDumpster Diving by Castledoor on YouTube
The event is free!
LANME Click here for Google map to Spaceland Performing Arts Live
Poster by Micah Wright
Speak Out by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Poets Against the War
Jules Feiffer on Nixon- 1973
Harold Pinter
Gore Vidal on President Jonah
Kurt Vonnegut’s Custodians of Chaos
God Save the Queen by John Cleese- Nov 2004
Will Rogers speaks to me thru a Ouija Board
War Prayer by Mark Twain -1904
The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld
Read Rummy’s Poems
Non Sequitur
Or, even better…peaceful, but persistant
. Americans are embarrassed by the juvenile behavior of our recent leaders. Bush had no respect for our citizens or for the presidency (his first real job), nor Cheney for the vice presidency (“Go F___ yourself!” on the Senate floor) and these clowns deserve no respect in return.
“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency he fails in his duty to stand by his country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Family Reunion photos
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To link up: E-mail Greg
Summer of 2009: District 9 is a classic, the other scifi blockbusters are eye-candy.
Change never happens until there is a bodycount!
.The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed.
Joe Stack (1956-2010) Link to his final statement.
Oh, dear…one casual web surfer asked if I will praise this Looney-Toon!!!!
Joe (not The Plumber) Stack was a home-grown, American, tea-bagging terrorist! Once again I remind: DON’T DRINK TEXAS TAP WATER!
Must I explain this again?
Constructive Anarchy was a term used by Bertrand Russell and George B Shaw 100 years ago to warn British citizens that their beloved country had been overtaken by WAR PROFITEERS (The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire!)! They urged peaceful nonviolent demonstrations…and failed…
Constructive Anarchist Heroes -
Robbie ConalJESUS My Bible describes Him: with skin of the color of “Dark bronze” and with nappy hair “like that of sheep“…Ummm…Jesus was a dark skinned/nappy-haired Middle-Eastern guy who didn’t speak English! Are you American Bible-Thumpers okay with that? Do you want to see HIS birth certificate? HIS land was occupied by Stupid White Men (Romans) just as America occupies Iraq, Afghanistan and (Coming soon!) Iran.
Best SciFi ever?
Afghanistan…Empire Graveyard
PsychoKiller Steven Dale Green
Several more exclusive photos
All photos by Greg Giacona. If you use these on your blog, please credit him and us: constructiveanarchy.com/blog
That Was the Week That Was from PhotoPhun Phriends